Christmas Calm

I bitch. I actually kind of bitch a lot. It’s often to be humorous. Other times, it’s just to get something out of my head. I try not to whine. There’s a difference between bitching and whining and I’m sure we all know it. It’s like porn. You can’t define it. You just kinda know it when you see it.




I started this holiday season feeling decidedly blah. I’d been fighting with my mother, the boyfriend has been sick, I’ve been sick, the job is getting closer and closer to firing people, etc. All of this didn’t quite add up to holiday cheer. So, I griped. Lots. I griped on Facebook, I griped on Twitter. I’ve avoided writing on here so as to not continue the gripefest. I’ve probably caused the boyfriend to start asylum shopping with my mood swings and moments of frustration.



Now, this could turn into a sappy Christmas story about how I suddenly got bitchslapped by the Christmas spirit. I could to tell you how I listened to Celine Dion sing “Oh, Come All Ye Faithful” on the radio today and I suddenly remembered the true meaning of Christmas. However, I think most people who know me and read this would know that’s horribly insincere. Though, I defy you to listen to Celine sing that and not at least think “damn, miss honey can saaang”.



I don’t really think those kind of Hallmark moments happen in most of our modern lives. We have to do the shopping, the wrapping, the fighting with traffic, the still going to work and the scraping of ice off the car. That is enough to bring just about anybody down.



But, the other night, I found myself freshly medicated for a cold and tucked in with my blanket and book I’d gotten as a Christmas gift. (Total diversion, but Decoded by Jay-Z is a ridiculously good read). I’d also plugged in the Christmas tree. The boyfriend had gone to see his father and we don’t really have a window in the living room, so I’d plugged it in for myself. Somewhere between looking at the first tree that the boyfriend and I had put up together and Celine today, I had a moment.



I’m not sure that I can say exactly what it was. But, I feel decidedly calm. Yes, I still have shopping to do. Yes, I’m still sick. Yes, I work out in a shopping mecca and it’s going to be hell doing my last minute shopping before I get to go home today. But, I’m sitting here at work, sipping my tea and I just feel calm. I have a great boyfriend, a crazy and occasionally infuriating family, but they usually mean well. I’ve spent the last week at Christmas parties with more than a few really close and fantastic friends. And so, really, I shouldn’t bitch.



So, it’s without any irony or post-Modern snark that I truly wish y’all a Merry Christmas.