Best Bitch

In middle school, the first class of the day was always Band. For me, it made getting up and going to school worth it. I had moved to a new school in 6th grade and never quite fit in. I didn’t have a lot of great friends and being poor, gay (yeah, I did even kind of know then) and in band didn’t help matters. I would wake up dreading the teasing and general harassment that the day was about to bring. But those first 45 minutes of the day where I could just sit with my saxophone and be good at something, create and not have to worry about any of the bullies was the thing that got me up and going.

The first day of 8th grade was a day of mixed emotion. I was dreading another year of dealing with the misery of middle school, but since another guy had moved up to high school, I was going to be 1st chair saxophone. I was also a little apprehensive. I was told that we were getting a new saxophone player. She had moved to Corbin from Mississippi. I was nervous (and yes, this is SO petty) that she was going to unseat me from my 1st chair position. I was also quite comfortable the way things were going and wasn’t really happy about this new girl infringing on the one happy part of day.

However, this girl from Mississippi ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me. That first morning literally went like this: the new girl sits down beside me and says, “Hi, I’m Monica, let’s be friends”. And I kid you not, we’ve been inseparable ever since. I was the best bitch in her wedding (read: we couldn’t think of a better name for maid of honor if that happened to be a dude). She was the person to console me on the day I came out to my mom.

I tell this story, because I really believe it was that moment that ended up being a turning point for me. Monica was the first person to accept me for me, no matter what. She is the first person that probably ever got to know me and did so without judgement. Her friendship has always been there for me no matter what is happening in my life no matter how weird, depressed, outrageous or bitchy I become. It’s been through my friendship with her that I’ve been able to find a constant place to be comfortable with myself and ultimately discover who I am.

In learning that someone will accept me, I’ve been able to forge the tons of other spectacular friendships that I have. I’ve learned that I can be myself and someone will not only be OK with that, but there are others that will understand it.

I spent the day today with Monica and some other fantastic friends. We are planning another even larger gathering tomorrow. I should also say that these are not just casual acquaintances. These are friends that I see at least once a week (for trash TV night), but usually several times more. These are people who have seen me through a lot of difficult times and vice versa.

And so I sat down to write this tonight being very thankful for these friends and because it occurred to me that I’ve came a long way since that first day in 8th grade and I should probably give some credit where credit is due.