Lifestyle Choices

I’ve never liked going to gay clubs. This has as much to do with my being homo-phobic as it does with just not being the “go out” kind of guy. I’m much more content with ordering a pizza and playing a rousing game of Phase 10. I know that the clubs and “going out” are part of the gay experience. It’s just something that you have to do and I’ve done it a few times. I’ve just never much enjoyed it.

I’m sure there are a few things at work here. One is my aforementioned homo-phobia. Also, I think people associate the clubs with the “gay lifestyle,” a term to which I take a great deal of issue. I don’t know about you, but I’ve yet to figure out what the “gay lifestyle” is. I know gays that live all kinds of lifestyles and as best I can tell, my lifestyle isn’t terribly different from the straights that I work with. It’s just that gay clubs seem to be the example of where someone would go to live the “gay lifestyle.” Especially, if they were using the term pejoratively, what with the go-go boys, booze and drag queens.

I know something like that was on my mother’s mind during our conversations after the coming out process. She was SO upset that I would now be living the “gay lifestyle.” Now granted, this is the woman who can count among her first responses to my coming out “but you don’t even like MAYONAISSE”. So, her judgment might be dismissed as unsound. However, it was some desire to prove to her that my being gay didn’t mean anything different than her being straight that’s also played a role in my avoiding clubs.

My aversion continued until about 2 months ago. The boyfriend and I planned a “Big Gay Night Out” with 3 other friends. We carpooled up to Louisville, got dinner and then hit the club. We started at the drag show and then moved on to the dancefloor. We all had a blast. There may even be photos of my girl, Bluebelle putting dollars bills into the mouth of a go-go boy in a shower. I also learned the boyfriend can work it like a rap video dancer.

We had so many friends respond to our tweets from Big Gay Night Out 1 that we had to set up another. So, Big Gay Night Out 2 was this past weekend. We ended up with 13 people in 3 cars. We had almost as many straight women as gay guys in attendance. We even had the one hetero male in the party. (Though, some of us have our doubts…).

As I was sitting in the passenger seat while the boyfriend commandeered Marco back home, it occurred to me. This was fun. Lots. I also spent no time wondering or caring if anyone else in the place was judging me. I also didn’t feel like I was a part of any other lifestyle. I was with my best friends in the world, living life, making memories and laughing then dancing our asses off.
So, maybe I’ve made one more step towards curing my homo-phobia, but I should probably get in a game of Phase 10 before going back.